Letting Go

The first 5 months in Cambodia were possibly the best months of my life, and then 'month 6' brought challenges on multiple fronts, and the reality that the awe of everything new and exciting could be dwindling. Life was still good, but I knew I would have to come down from the high at some point and it seemed that time had come. A major crush came on September 11th when I had a tense meeting with the "orphanage" management. They had a long list of complaints and suspicions about my activities, mostly surrounding whether I was discouraging donors by spotlighting dubious activities (this was true) and a mentality of entitlement that the funding I was using for Aziza Schoolhouse was really intended for them (this is ridiculous). At the end of the meeting they asked that the partnership be discontinued, and my translators felt their was a threatening undertone. To this, there wasn't room for sadness, no time to reflect on the many bonds with the kids that would be severed. It seemed the best thing I could do was to get out of town for while, clear my head, regain my focus... I was on a plane to Tibet 2 days later! The timing was right; I had 2 friends from Phnom Penh who had invited me to meet them, and where on earth better to "let go" and re-evaluate life plans than the spiritual epicenter that is Tibet. Aziza Schoolhouse is my real passion, and will continue to operate and be the focus of all of my efforts on my return.

Landing in the capital, Lhasa, felt being home in Colorado, but with an exotic culture and a drastic altitude adjustment. At 3600m, about 12,000', it took me several days to get on my feet. It was great to see some familiar faces - Marcus and Michele were waiting to greet me. After an overnight flight, I threw down my bag and we headed out of town in the cool air and strong sun to Drepung Monastary. Founded in 1415, the monastary is a village/walled fortress and once-self-contained world that housed 10,000 monks in 1951 when the Chinese took over. Today there are around 800 monks. The architecture, scenery, culture...all blew my mind, and was one the most impressive sights I've ever visited.

The next days were filled with headaches, naps, and visits to unbeliveable sights of exotic culture and spritual devotion. Pilgrims flood the temples and plazas, dressed in traditional attire and adorned with colorful jewelry, spinning prayer wheels, prostrating (a series of poses from standing to face-down on the ground, hands in front of the head), and chanting. A visit to Ramoche Temple was hypnotic, as a large group of monks chanted in the deepest voices, beat drums and clasped symbols to create a cresendo of sound like a massive thunder storm. I closed my eyes and without prompting went into a meditative state where I envisioned the main antagonist from the orphanage, Samnang, crying and experiencing emotion alongside myself. It was a welcome vision from the anger I had been harboring for him.

That night I went to the Jokhang, the city center and most revered religious structure in Tibet, and watched the last of the pilgrims prostrating. It was 11PM, and with few people around I felt comfortable enough to try this practice myself. As soon as I started, a woman gave me her piece of carpet and hand pads to make a clean, swimming movement on the stone plaza. The family all watched, and while I felt a bit corney at first, I realized they really liked having a foreigner experience their religion and traditions. I went up and down, over and over, forgetting that anyone was watching, forgetting about being tired, thirsty...until it seemed right to stop, and in a daze I thanked the family for staying late while I used their mats, feeling connected...

The special interactions didn't stop. I was witnessing a tea blessing, where a monk poured tea over the heads and into the mouths' of small goups of pilgrims. After about 4 groups went through, the monk commanded me to get on my knees with the other pilgrims, and so I too was blessed. I later drank from a holy spring, spun countless prayer wheels, and have visited spots of deep historical-religious significance dailey. Religious devotion is the fad on the millenium here.

Oh, and there are many intersting smells, the most dominant being yak butter, which is the base-note for all the local dishes as well as the fuel for all the candles (for which there are many). There's also inscents and sage burning, which can be on a massive scale - like a smokestack equivalent to a small industrial facilitiy, but better smelling. There's also the standard urine, sewer, raw meat, body odor (the Australian in my dorm; he's biking around the world - 4 years so far, 30,000 miles in all: http://brinkx.org/theexpedition/theexpedition.asp#Route)...

After a week in Lhasa, taking a mix of western and eastern altitude medications, I was ready to head out of town.